Emma-Lee HarrisonOwner/Founder - Whole Health Kawartha
Emma-Lee's Story :
Grief is an interesting beast.
It festers and builds, you consciously or subconsciously ignore it. You busy yourself with as many tasks as you can, or you feel so tired you have to lay in bed, you go throughout your day with little to no intention. The too busy is my safe place and that has been me when the grief starts to creep back in. I start becoming irritated by things that have no significance or impact on my life. Taking on more than my introverted self would like.
This is coping and ignoring and it doesn’t work.
I don’t want this moment to be so deeply sad anymore.
I don’t want to miss my dad. I don’t want it to hurt today 10 years later as bad as it did then. That doesn’t really seem fair. Last year it didn’t hurt this badly what’s different now?
I really don’t have the answers, but I am letting it in again. I don’t want to lose sight of what it has taught me. I don’t want to become hardened or bitter inside. I am letting it in so I can be grateful to all that I get to do everyday because I am still alive.
It comes to knock me down so I can learn again what is truly important to me. So I can share with you my perspective and encourage you to live a little more while you’re healthy and able.
My house being clean is not as important as quality time, being right is not worth more than being happy. Giving too much of yourself is not worth the repercussion of not being well with yourself.
My dad died just before Christmas and he felt so bad about that. I would be lying if I said that didn’t break my heart, but it does. He was losing everything, and he still hurt that he might be making us sad. Well dad, the timing was perfect. It is easy to get caught up in life, rushing, pushing, and spreading ourselves to thin.
Well dad you really knocked me back down this year and I will be forever thankful.
We are healthy and so very happy and because of you I deeply know, that is more than enough for me.