Freelance Writer – Professional Sammich Maker
When I was in grade school I wrote and published my first book. It was a decidedly low budget production.
Folded 8 ½ X 11” standard paper.
I went with a soft cover but attempted a hardcover head fake by applying Podge and construction paper and an innovative creative touch of 3D.
I was ahead of my time.
It was about Snooky (not THE Snooki of Jersey Shore – none of us born in the 60s saw that one coming)– a snail that wanted to join a baseball team.
Not unlike today, the other players were jerks, thankfully without access to social media, who reluctantly signed him due to some inherent sense of inclusion but didn’t give him an official position because his skill set wasn’t conducive to the task at hand.
The super jocks (foxes and squirrels) ripped the ball out of play, into the pond – climax of the story:
Unbeknownst to the other players who are wrought with drama after losing the ball in a time where dollar stores did not exist – Snooky slowly and methodically enters the pond, retrieves the ball, saves the game, saves the day, everybody loves him, they can’t share it on Instagram because it didn’t exist… The End.
An archetypal blend of current common denominators.
Like I said, ahead of my time.
Margaret Atwood says that words are inert until the reader reads. The most participative way to discover a story is through the act of reading (sorry to all Netflix addicts), because your brain must supply everything. The scene, the emotion, the tone, the smells, the tastes, the curiosities, the nuances, the suspense, the drama. She says that the writer provides the score while the meaning is determined by the reader.
I don’t know Margaret.
Referencing her just makes me sound way cooler.
I have been graciously and gratefully enlisted by Inspire to provide you with the score.
Every woman that is nominated gives you a story of themselves – they don’t need me for that because their story is their story.
My job is to provide the chinking in the logs – the mortar that connects the many incredible moving parts of this vast and intimate construct.
My mission is to create stitching that binds the patchwork of story fabrics together.
Snooky the Snail did not catapult me to billionaire status with a theme park and 5 movies and accessories embroidered with capital HP.
Snooki from Jersey, along similar fate, fell disastrously short of author fame and glory. Who knew that baby bumps and gorilla beaches weren’t a shore thing in the literary realm.
I’ve been a column writer, a web writer, a ghost writer, a multi-venue guest speaker, a way-too-wordy texter, a lengthy FB poster slash commenter, a compilation book author and I have been known to leave
long and eloquently written honey-do lists for my husband and three children.
I take great pleasure in being here.
I do hope you find your meaning in my words.